When we first had the lockdown, lockdown at home
The government did the briefing around,
half past four, half past four, four thirty, four thirty

My daughter Lisa finished work
She used to immediately get onto FaceTime - hi! hi! - and interpret the news
She watched the news, and interpreted
And I understood

I’d ask her, you know, what things meant
It was all well and good reading the subtitles, trying to understand,
but I couldn’t understand what those English words actually meant
those long, long English words,
what did they mean?
And there was one word, a new word to me was:
Pandemic, pan-dem-ic
Pandemic was a new word for me
Pandemic

I used to watch the Scottish news
I used to watch because they provided a BSL interpreter
A signing interpreter, at the back
the speaker was at the front and the interpreter was at the back, signing
and I could understand it so clearly, the information was clear and there was
clear access

The interpreter at the back
Signed a little bit different, but I could follow it,
I could follow it easily, I knew what she was signing,
and I could understand

I watched the interpreter at the back, signing the information, and it was so clear

My friends used to text me
My friends, my deaf friends
They’d say
“I’m going out here, I’m going to do this and that”
And I’d say no no no no,
my daughter’s told me!
You can’t! You can’t! You can’t!

It was really hard but I wanted to help them
I wanted to help
I wanted to help all of them
It was really hard

But I have to keep going don’t I?
I have to keep going
For the first time in my life, I’m depressed
It’s not been as bad as some other people but
For the first time, I’m depressed

I took a mask and went to the bank
And I wanted to say something, to sign, but I wrote it down
I wrote it down
and I had a mask and the woman had a mask
and I wanted to sign but I wrote it down
and showed her
And the woman in the mask, she spoke to me, but she had a mask on
I couldn’t see her mouth, she had a mask on
I said no I’m deaf, deaf
She wouldn’t pull her mask down
To allow me to lip read
I certainly wasn’t near her, but
She wouldn’t pull her mask down

And I feel like, you know, giving up with the world

Top of the list, I miss my family
You know the kids
Maybe they’re thinking
Does grandma not love me?!
I really miss the kids
Their cuddles, having them close, holding them, their kisses

My granddaughter got married
We were in the countryside…we stayed in a wee cottage, so cosy
We had to be careful but it was so lovely
But I’ve come back home and I just-

I’ve come back home and I just-

But I have to keep going don’t I?
I have to keep going
For the first time in my life, I’m depressed
For the first time in my life, I’m depressed
It’s not been as bad as some people but
for the first time, I’ve been depressed